Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Re-reading the Bible...and other stuff.

I started re-reading the Bible tonite. Been a long time and I find it rather enjoyable. It is all I can really do considering my current condition. I am very ill. Nauseated and still haven't eaten in 4 days now. Just water and some flat soda. The acidic diarrhea is miserable too. I have pain in various spots of my abdomen. Some where the GB was, some on opposite side. Some dead center of my tummy. I get cramps in my lower abdomen from the diarrhea. I had blood work done today and there was good news. No bilirubin issues. That usually means that a wayward stone is not lodged somewhere. I feel lost and so God is who I am turning to in these dire times. He has always been in me and my heart and mind but as a fool I needed to search out and check into other faiths. I searched and returned home to Him. So, reading the Bible from start to finish doesn't sound like fun for most people. But I am not most people and I actually find it interesting. So, it's an easy read for me.
I am frustrated and angry that I had 4 days of bliss and feeling good and had it stripped from me to feel the way I do now. I do hope that I can get some relief. I have been hurting and sick for so long that I fear I will have to live my life this way. It would be misery not just for my but for my family. My husband has been great and I can't stand to put him through anymore of this. He feels as cheated as I do. We had a few great days and then GONE! I cry so hard all day and apologize to him for all of this. He doesn't blame me but he is hurt and angry too. Tomorrow I see my surgeon to go over what is going on with me. I am also having an ultrasound to see if there is anything wonky. I don't think the US will show anything. My surgeon is one of the leads at Mayo and I highly doubt she cut me and that I have leaking or damage to anything. I think the GB was toast, but I think my Sphincter of Oddi may also be constricted. If it is, it will require another surgery. Or it could be something with my tubing. But I am fearful and have been praying for God and his son Jesus to be with me and watch over me. To let the doctors find the problem and fix it. This ordeal has really been life altering and not just because I reclaimed my faith, but diet and attention to my health in general. I have the best hospital in the world at my avail. I have faith in God and Jesus and I have faith in the staff of Mayo Clinic and St. Marys. I will update as I find out info. If anyone reads this, pray for me. God Bless.

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