UTI Hell!

Ok, so I woke up this morning...took my Bactrim (half pill) like I have been doing. Went pee...all was good. Sittin on the chair and all of a sudden had to pee. Went, hurt!!! Oy! Called docs office and went in. Pee'd in a cup. Yes I do in fact have an infection...told him I was taking Bactrim but wasn't sure if it was working. He gave me Macrobid. Now...I know Macro works but the cost is high. It has a slough of side effects that if possible, I would like to avoid. However, I have felt like ass all day. Nauseated and just icky. Bladder seems to be better now though and that is great. Had 2 large pees since I got home. Cried at Chris cuz I don't wanna do that Macro but I will if I have to. After much thought the last 2 hours, I have decided that 2 days on Bactrim isn't really sufficient time to give it to see if it works. So now I am going to attempt to get in another dose of the Bactrim this evening if I can. Right now I feel so ucky that I don't wanna take anything. Blech. However, this could be one of the side effects of this drug too. It does have a tendency to cause nausea and kill appetite. Odd since my tummy still gets hungry and growls. Macro does nothing for a kidney infection either which is another reason why I am willing to give Bactrim another day or two. Should it fail by Thursday I will go back to doc and get re tested and see if I can get Cipro. We will see how that works. Right now though, I am miserable with a stomach ache and foggy head. All I ate today was a chocolate cookie and half a stack of crackers. Haven't been drinking anything and I should be but I feel so bad that I don't want to. I thought that maybe a nap would be good and that I might feel better if I take one. We will see. If I happen to fall asleep than great. I was super sleepy earlier and I guess I should have crashed than but hindsight is 20/20 as usual. I usually feel better after a nap. I hate feeling like crap. I mean really I should be used to it, but really I'm not. This is all a faith tester, but I still believe God got me through the last 32 and a half years and that he will get me through the rest of them. He knows my frustration and fear and anger. I give as much of it to Him as I can because I have no outlet for it. I can cry but it only is a temporary relief. I hate that I have this issue when it is so simple but for me it feels like the end of the world. I hope this doesn't go to my kidneys. I mean I don't have a noticeable back ache or whatever. Just nausea (which could be med induced or anxiety or liver anger). The painful peeing subsided and maybe my bladder was full of old icky pee that needed to come out. I mean my morning pee was big but not really painful, it was the one a half hour later that was. I had gotten my med in but I doubt it had been processed enough to get it to where it needs to be. I don't know I am trying to rationalize for why I feel like ass. lol. Dumb, I know but it's how I cope, sorta. My bladder feels bloated, that sucks too. Not painful either, but just distended. Doc was gonna give me Cipro and I should have asked him for that and the Macro just in case. lol. O well, I will give the Bactrim more time, most say 3-5 days to clear up symptoms but a week to get rid of infection. Sooooo, ok. I can go along with that. I mean really I didn't have major symptoms til last Thursday. Friday I felt ok. Saturday I felt like I had a UTI took a test and it showed, maybe. Took same test Sunday and it showed positive. Started meds right away Sunday morning. I will give my Bactrim another day and tonight to see if I can get some relief. Man I am so sick of being sick. It really is a damper. I mean I just get over something and have a few days of good feelings and than WHAM! Get hit with something else that sucks. Now, really this is a common ailment, like the flu. It sucks but you can treat it and it will go away. At least with the Bactrim I don't have super bad diarrhea and cramping. Other drugs do that to me and its awful. Bactrim can have some delayed reactions too. I don't know. I am just making myself nuts over this and I shouldn't be. If I was normal, like my friends...I would take the pills and move on. But I am such a worry wort that I can't. I dwell on shit and make myself ill over it. OCD much! Yeah, I am nuts. So...I am going to go write my story for a while. See if I can make myself tired and go to bed for a spell. Maybe I will be better when I wake up. I hate suffering like this, what did I do to deserve it? Am I really that bad of a person?