Pain...ugh...

So for years I have had abdominal issues. Whether it be from Irritable Bowel or panic disorder, both or something more I have been miserable the last 2 years. I have bouts of constipation with diarreah. I get gassy somedays. I get a nasty ache/pain under my ribs and it makes me nauseated. I don't have a fever. I have a tough time sleeping sometimes from it. Sometimes I worry about it so much that I have a panic attack.
When I was 6 years old I awoke in the middle of the night and told mom and dad that I felt sick and that I was going to throw up. I did and fell asleep with them afterward. Later on, a year maybe. Mom was on a drinking binge and I witnessed her force vomiting so she could drink more. It scared me to death. So much so that I never threw up again. I'm now 32. Weird but I am more frightened of vomit that I am of death. Something scarred me so much by those events that I am seriously a nut job over it. I think honestly the stomach aches that I get are from my constant worry about getting sick (which has me as a germaphobe) I think I worry myself ill. And on top of it, my body is so used to me being this way that I dont know how to fix or change it. Other than the obvious, but from other people that have the same phobia(s) I do that have taken that step...it made their problem worse.
I noticed that after I used Medifast a few times (trying to lose weight) that I developed different pain. I than found out far too late that it can wreak havoc with your gall bladder and liver.
I have good days and then bad days. More bad than good and it is effecting my quality of life and my marriage. But the amount of stress that has over loaded me lately has made things worse. Mom had a heart attack and a quad bypass. I lost dad almost 3 years ago. I am still grieving for him. So, that added to the stress of not having a job (cant do it anyway) and not having any money is killing me. It makes me cry often. Sometimes I feel better afterward sometimes not. I have not had a period since the beginning of June. I am not losing weight. In fact I have gained. So, I am not too bad. I am mad because I want to get up an exercise but I feel so yucky all of the time that I dont want to do anything. Which is making things worse I am sure. Catch 22. I want to push through it and just go for a walk on the tread mill. I get headaches too. They make me feel yucky too. Sometimes I cant sleep. So I stay up for a day or two and than crash outta exhaustion. I dont take any meds or anything. I wonder if I have an ulcer. I should get a blood test done. I'm depressed. Really depressed. Feel like I am worthless, ugly, fat, sickly...ugh. I just feel like I am not living the way I should be. Like I am holding myself back. But at the same time, I have tried all I know to get through this. I beat it once before, I can do it again. I just need to do it. I need to or I don't know what will happen. I am 15 minutes from one of the best hospitals in the world and if anyone can help me it will be them. Ever since I was born I have had digestive issues. I had solmonella when I was 3. I remember the pain. I remember it vividly. Ugh, this is just making me feel worse right now. I will be back when I feel semi normal...could be hours, days, weeks, whatever.